Searching for that silver lining...

I'm trying. I really am. I was reading a blog the other afternoon that asked what silver lining we've found in our own lives lately. And I know there are so many.

We loved Butterball. It gave us a glimpse of the future. Of other puppies. Of kids. Of family life. I have to be so thankful for that.

The past week taught me a lot about my husband. He fell in love with our puffball. He loved being Butterball's daddy. He protected me from the hard things at the end. He held me when I cried, even while tears streamed down his own face. He's made me remember the good things. If I am sad, I have to start naming all the fun we have in those short five days. It helps. This week taught me so much about this wonderful man I married. It taught us a lot about the team we are together. I never would have made it without him.

As the days go on, the tears are fewer and fewer. I've had a pretty productive day today. I haven't cried (yet. I still might.) But there are more smiles, and more good memories.

I hope to get back to my normal schedule this week (for school, work, cleaning, cooking and blogging). Last week there was no such thing as normal. I was on Cloud 9 Sunday to Tuesday, and so sad from Wednesday on.

I still plan on sharing some of the fun times we had with Butterball. I hope you'll laugh and smile when you read them. They are the things that I need to remember.

Thanks for all of your love and support.

XOXO,

Mrs. Jones

Heartbreak

Our precious Butterball left us last night. I can't believe he's gone, or how fast everything went wrong. It hurts so much. I keep thinking I'm out of tears, but then I manage to find more.

I took Butterball in to the vet early yesterday morning because he still wasn't eating. He stayed there all day. They tried to give him fluids and to get him to eat. When I called at 3:45, they thought he'd be okay coming home for the night. By the time I picked him up at 5 (they wanted to keep him until then), the vet told me to take him to the emergency pet clinic for the night.

I held our sweet baby in my lap and tried to drive to the clinic. I lost it and pulled over in a church parking lot. My dad came and got us and drove us to the clinic, where Mr. Jones met us. Butterball was close to unresponsive at this point, just laying in my arms, making occasional cooing noises. I nuzzled him close. I had no idea how bad things would get so fast.

The clinic opened at 5:30 with us waiting there. The guy who worked there was wonderful, and they ran blood work and a parvo test. Despite the parvo test coming back negative for the third time in as many days, it looks like that is what sweet Butterball had. He had a viral infection and had a really low white blood cell count. His kidneys weren't doing well at all by that point.

We said goodbye for the night, to let them work on him. Sticking my finger through that cage to pet his tiny head broke my heart. By the time we got to my car, the clinic called, telling us Butterball was doing agonal breathing, which meant he was trying to pass away. We flew back over to the clinic, and got to spend his last few minutes with him.

Those were some of the hardest minutes of my life. Mr. Jones and I just stood there and cried with Butterball between us after he'd gone. His little body was so light and it just broke my heart.

I don't understand why this dream come true only got to last five days. I know Butterball was just a puppy, and not a person, but to us he was two years of dreaming and planning come true.

My heart is simply broken. Mr. Jones is so upset too. It's been a long sleepless night, and it's going to be an even longer day.

I'd give anything to hold that sweet furball in my arms again. He deserved more time at home with us. We needed more time with him.

XOXO,

Mrs. Jones

Sick puppy

Butterball is sick and at the vet. They are keeping him for the day to observe and try to treat him for dehydration and nausea. I am so worried about our little baby. Well, that's an understatement. I'm a nervous wreck, channeling all my energy into getting housework and homework done while he's gone.

He hasn't really eaten since we've had him. (Since Saturday.) So Mr. Jones and I are super-worried, but glad we got him in at the vet first thing this morning.

I just want my Butterball back and healthy and happy. He was so pitiful this morning, just moaning and snuggling.

More soon,

Mrs. Jones

(And I promise, once we are settled, you will hear about more than just our sweet puppy!)

Update fun.... Butterball, life and more.

Whew. I am tired, happy, stressed and totally overwhelmed all at once. Butterball is great. He is certainly a mess to deal with but both Mr. Jones and I are totally in love with our little fur-baby. We're spoiling him rotten. He loves his blankets most of all - and his bed.

I am really upset that he still hasn't eaten. We got him at lunch time Saturday, and he has yet to eat any of the food we've tried to give him. He had Nutri-cal type stuff on Saturday and Sunday that we squirted into his mouth, but that's been about it, although he drinks a ton of water.

I've been able to kind of work from home for my graduate assistant stuff yesterday and today, but I have to go in from 3 to 5 today. Butterball has only been at home alone once before, when I had to go to the dentist yesterday.

There is lots going on. I'm working on my thesis. I'm cleaning, and trying to get ready for the holidays. I just feel overwhelmed, but Butterball has been a calming, loving thing to snuggle and keep me happy.

I think that's about it for now. More Home Tour Tuesday tonight!!!

XOXO,

Mrs. Jones

Meet Butterball

Whew. It's been a crazy few days.

To make a long story short, we have been wanting a puppy for quite some time. We finally got to the point where we were ready to start planning for one, maybe after Christmas. We checked with the Kennel that my parents' puppy, sweet Ringo, had come from, because we love him so much.

Turns out, they had no pregnant puppies, but had quite a few puppies that were ready to go home now. When I came home from covering an opera theater dress rehearsal Thursday night, Mr. Jones told me the news.

On Friday, we found out for sure that we could pick Butterball up a few hours away at noon on Saturday.

While Mr. Jones worked on Friday, I got busy cleaning and preparing for our sweet puppy. It was a whirlwind day!

We left home at 8:30 a.m. on Saturday, and had Butterball all picked out and riding home with us by 11:30. There was no question when the breeder brought out the four puppies we could choose from. We knew immediately that this was our sweet baby.